Things that could happen to you in Russia
In Russia car drives you
In Russia mirror looks at you
In Russia clothes wear you
In Russia stereo listens to you (then sends you to work down a salt mine)
In Russia vodka drinks you
In Russia curb sits on you
In Russia holiday takes you
In Russia salt puts you on chips
In Russia hunger eats you
In Russia animals visit you in the zoo
In Russia comics laugh at you
In Russia trees climb you
In Russia boss likes you
In Russia computer types on you
In Russia door opens you
In Russia soup line stands in you
In Russia baby eats you
In Russia spine breaks you
In Russia desk put gum on you
In Russia weeds obliterate you
In Russia fart makes you
In Russia plumber sexually assaults you
In Russia target shoots you
In Russia city live in you
In Russia ice cream licks you (and likes it)